Countdown to no more diapers: What you need to know about potty training

Potty training is the biggest milestone in a toddler’s life. It is also the biggest challenge to parents! There are hundreds of books on the subject, countless advice articles, and even more helpful friends who have successfully potty trained their own children. It is most important to remember that you and your child are on this journey to the toilet together. Take your time, reward frequently and, most of all, have a sense of humor!

First of all, make sure your child is ready to be potty trained. Reaching the two-year-old mark is only a guideline to begin looking for clues. Some are ready at six months, some aren’t ready until three or later. But do not try to teach your child to train if she resists. Use the following guide to determine if your child is ready. (Note: I’ve used “she” as my default pronoun because I have two girls.)

1. Is your child verbalizing her needs? For any child to effectively start the process of potty training, she needs to be able to effectively communicate her needs and desires.
2. Does she show interest in the potty? If you are comfortable with this, allow her in the bathroom while you go, and see if she is curious about what you’re doing. Does she try to flush? Does she lift the lid to peek inside?
3. Is she able to pull her pants on and off? She may require some help but should show some interest in dressing herself.
4. Is she staying dry between diaper changes? This is a sign that she has attained a level of bladder control that babies lack. Toddlers ready for potty training will be able to hold large amounts of urine and will urinate less frequently.
5. Is your child acknowledging wet or soiled diapers? Poking fingers inside her diapers, finding quiet areas to crouch down, removing her soiled diapers are all sure signs your toddler is aware of the changes taking place. (If your child shows no sign of discomfort at soiling or wetting her diaper, she may not be ready for potty training.)
6. Do you notice changes in your child’s facial expression or posture when she is about to soil her diaper? When potty training begins, you will need to pay attention to these expressions and get your child on the potty the moment you notice them.

Potty training do’s

1. Start with a fun, brightly colored potty chair. Before you purchase the potty, allow your child to sit on it fully clothed, and ask her if it’s comfortable. Allow her to personalize it with stickers or other decorations. Keep it in the bathroom, preferably next to the big potty. Families with more than one bathroom may wish to have a potty chair in each one for convenience purposes.
2. Make a special trip to the library or bookstore for books about potties. Look for short, illustrated stories depicting the tales of children and their special potties. Read them to your child enthusiastically so she gains an understanding of the appropriate vocabulary needed. This story time will also create a healthy interest in the potty training routine.
3. Demonstrate the process by dumping diaper contents into the potty so your child can see what a completed bathroom break looks like.
4. When your child shows any sign that she needs to go to the bathroom, very excitedly lead her to the potty. Explain what you’d like her to do. Say, “Do you think you are ready to try the potty?” Always reassure her that using the potty is her choice, and that it will be there when she is ready.
5. Be sure to encourage and praise. This is a vital step throughout the entire process, even in when related to accidents. Always acknowledge any attempt to sit on the potty, whether success is achieved or not. The more comfortable your child is with sitting on the potty, the easier it will be for her to use it when needed. When she is through with the potty session, celebrate like you have just won the lottery (for the diaper changer of the house, it is quite the equivalent!). The creation of your own special potty dance or song is always a great way to involve the whole family in the encouragement process, and children crave nothing more than praise from their parents.

Potty training don’ts

1. Don’t punish. Never, ever, punish your child for having an accident, whether that child is 2 years old or 12. Punishing your child for doing something she cannot control will lead to a very unhealthy attitude toward using the potty and will diminish any success she has achieved. When facing an accident, regardless of where it happens, remain calm . Use a soft tone to comfort your child and let her know that accidents happen and everything is okay. Encourage her to sit on the potty to see if she has anything left. Never draw too much attention to the accident and always praise her for attempting to sit on the potty afterwards.
2. Don’t begin potty training during a stressful time in the family. To be successful, you must have adequate time and energy to devote to the task. Consistency is a must, and any break in the training will set the clock back. Moving, vacation, career stress, a new baby, or even issues with your child’s siblings will hamper your efforts. Children need stability, consistency, and comfort to master potty training.
3. Don’t insist. It’s not a good idea to insist that your child produce something just because she’s sitting on the potty. If she doesn’t have to go, she doesn’t have to go.

Time and patience are absolute necessities to successful potty training. Some kids adapt quickly, others can take much longer than you’d hoped. Neither case is any reflection on your child’s developmental skills or your parenting ability.

Good luck to both you and your child.

This article was contributed to by J.R Kelly and Theresa Willbye .