Toddlers & Preschool Discussion

I also have a three year old daughter, she is as well a great person that rarely gets out of control. I didn't want to spank her so I asked my sister what works for her (our daughters are three months apart) discipline wise. She gave me a great alternative. Her husband is in the navy and they came up with placing their daughter in a time out corner with her arms extended over her head for any given period of time (not too extensive). I also impemented this and it works like a charm because she dreads having to go to time out and "hold her hands to the sky".

As frustrating as this is it makes me feel better to know I am in good company. My three yr old son has just discovered the joys of hitting others, even a stranger at the zoo this week! I am not a big believer in corporal punishment and it does not make sense to teach kids not to hit by hitting them. I think a time out for 3 mins is the best bet at this point. Give her ways to show kindness and praise praise praise her when she is loving and helpful. As in all things in childhood this too shall pass.

The 3-minute timeout suggestionis a good one. I read somewhere -- perhaps on Mommy.com??? -- that matching the timeout length to the child's age is a good way to go. So 3 minutes for a 3-year-old, 4 minutes for a 4-year-old, and so on.

I'd not thought of it that way before. I'd always just done 5 minutes, no matter what the age, and with our 3-year-old, I spent the last couple of minutes telling the child to go back to his room, as he tried to sneak out of the timeout early.

Hi. I used be a teacher. I also was a certified behavior analyst.
My recommendation would be to look into "1, 2, 3, Magic"
You should be able to find the book at the library or can order it on line.

Basically, you need to set up some clear expectations. Then when a child does something that you don't approve of, tell her: "That's 1. No (whatever the behavior was)" If she continues or repeats the behavior. Say "That's 2. No (whatever)." If she gets to 3 say "That's 3. Time out" And yes the general rule of thumb is 1 minute per year. I like this system because with the simple straight forward warnings it helps the child learn to recognize the behavior and gives them a chance to self correct. Just remember to keep your talking to a minimum. Don't debate.

Also try to verbally reward her when she does behave well. "I really like the way you're sharing." "I love your good manners."

Good luck!

I have a son who is 4 and in preschool, he just got out of school suspension yesterday for hitting children. He got a warning, had to turn happy faces, at lunch by himself...tthey told him that if he hurt a friend again he wouldn't be able to come to school the next day. Well he ended up hitting a boy with his shoe and when they asked him why he was doing that he said because he wanted to. I always tell him not to hit and to keep his hands to himself and if something upsets him to use his words not his hands. But it seems like it is not working. I have taken cartoons away along with his toys. If this continues I don't know what else to do. We don't spank at home he gets a time out and if it continues he gets something he really likes taken away. Any suggestions would be great!!