As your child clutches your leg when you drop him at the child-care center you have chosen, you are probably fervently hoping you have chosen well. When narrowing down choices, it’s not easy to make a selection, knowing someone else will be responsible to care for your bundle of joy the better part of each day. You know asking, “Do you have any openings?” is probably not enough research; but, doing a background check on everyone from the provider to the guy who delivers their newspaper is going a bit far. Still, keeping a few basic principles in mind should help you select a good child care provider and give you peace of mind.

The legal nitpick

Surprisingly, many moms are embarrassed to ask licensure questions of child-care centers, especially home providers. This isn’t prying, it’s good sense. A license indicates that the state has guaranteed a provider has been checked and certified to provide adequate, safe child-care. This will give you profound peace of mind when you pull away from the child-care center each day. And, don’t just ask if there’s a license, ensure it matches the type of center being run. If the provider is licensed to care for only a small number of children, and the center is hosting a posse, look elsewhere.

Staff questions

Ask about the staff that works at the center and about their qualifications to work with children. Also, ask about the staff turnover rate, as this may indicate a problem with the center’s management. Question the volume of staff on shift for various points in the day and the number of adults assigned to each child. This is also a good time to ask for references—and be sure to check them. Be wary of a center that either does not give references or whose references are negative or do not check out.

Training and emergency plans

Find out what training the child care center’s staff has that qualifies them to respond to emergency situations for children. CPR or choking rescue procedures for babies and children differ from those for adults. If no one on the staff is trained in basic first aid, look elsewhere. Ask about what emergency response plans the center has in place in case of various disasters like fires, tornados or attacks.

The center’s schedule

Ask questions about the center’s scheduled closures and days of non-operation for holidays or planned vacations, as you’ll need to make other arrangements in advance. You will also want to know the center’s daily routine schedule. This will help you prepare your child in advance to fall in step with the center without feeling too disrupted. You can adjust his meal and nap times a few days or weeks in advance of entry into a new child-care center in order to help ease his transition.

Observation and visit options

The child-care center you select should allow pop-in visits from you at the time of your choosing. If they request you schedule visits, question what they are cleaning up or hiding before your arrival. You should feel free to observe your child at will.

Sick child and provider policies

Find out the center’s policy on sick children. Some child-care centers allow the sniffles but not fevers. Others draw the line at vomiting and diarrhea. And, if you select an in-home provider, ask what the backup plan is for when he/she falls ill and cannot provide the normal care schedule.

Extra fee schedules

If your child is ill or you go on vacation, do you have to pay for unused days? What about days the center is closed? Some centers offer part-time and flextime schedules. You should find out about them before you sign up, especially if you don’t plan on working full-time. Also, some charge fees for early drop-offs or late pickups, even down to the minute. You might ask about traffic patterns, to alter your schedule in order to avoid these pesky fees. If the center provides its own transportation, perhaps picking your child up from school, you will certainly want to know the fees attached to this convenience. And, most centers operate on a very fixed budget when it comes to supplies; so, find out if you will be contributing to their rotating supply of tissues and crayons.

Discipline and other policies

If you have established a firm, no hand-slapping policy, you will want to know if the operators of the center employ this discipline method when telling the children not to touch something. And, if you don’t allow television, you will want to know if 3 p.m. is television hour. Or, you may want to pack a nutritious option if they serve sugary snacks. Whatever is important to you, find out whether the child care center has a policy that doesn’t mesh with your at-home policy.

Choosing someone else to care for your child is never easy. It means letting someone into your child’s life, taking a role that you’d rather fill yourself. But, in a world with mortgages, car payments and just the need to get out to feel fulfilled outside the home as well as within it, finding adequate child care is a necessary reality. By researching your options and following your gut, you should be able to find a solution that works for your family.

Note from Mommy.com : Need help finding babysitters, nannies, tutors and other providers near you? We’ve partnered with Care.com to help you. Use the form in our local section to search for providers in your area, and find profiles of prospective caregivers to meet your specific needs. With Care.com’s prescreened profiles, videos, references, background checks, an more, it’s like having a human resources department right in your home! Click here now.

Let your baby make the ultimate statement

Are you a mom with a unique style who can’t bear to see her precious newborn become another advertisement for mass consumerism? Do you hate all the stuffy, traditional pinks and blues for your new bundle of joy? Where can you go to find baby clothing that will help your child learn to walk to the beat of their own drum? We’ve scoured the Internet and have found several unique places to find baby clothing that is definitely not out of the big box or the famous mall boutiques.

Threadless.com

For moms who identify with the artsy crowd, this is the site for you. They offer unique, alternative art on one-of-a-kind baby clothing. Some of the art is quite abstract and some is just plain silly and fun. New designs are released every Friday, so you can visit often and never get bored. Kids’ T-shirts are $17 and onesies are $20. This company is very hip with the campus crowd across America and offers a message board to post comments and discussions. Spend some time browsing the comments posted by the artists. It will give you some insight into the designs you purchase. This site was a bit difficult to navigate, but the designs won’t be found anywhere else, so it’s worth the extra trouble to figure it out.

Cafepress.com

If quick, affordable and witty is your cup of tea, then you’ll want to check out Cafepress.com, which offers more than a million designs to choose from. You’ll find the traditional “I’m the big brother/sister,” and other cutesy sayings; political statements, pop culture icons, and tons of family-related quotations. If you don’t see what you want here, the site lets you can create a design yourself. Two minutes and 5 or 6 clicks of the mouse and you can have your own designer item featuring your child’s picture or artwork. Any jpg or png files can be used for your design. Available items for baby clothing are bodysuits, bibs, and tees. Most items are under $15. Caution: This site can be addictive and time consuming!

Babywit.com

At Babywit.com their tag line is: You may not be cool, but your baby can be. This site features hip, irreverent designs, from punk and alternative themes to classic rock, pirate, cowboy and outlaw pop-culture items. Their designer section features hand-sewn appliqués, which are priced as higher-end products. They have a larger choice of baby clothing items than most other sites, including shoes and slippers (the cowboy boot slippers are awesome!), diaper bags, and diaper covers. Most items start at around $21 and go up from there. This site even has a gift registry, so expecting moms and dads can choose their favorites and keep track of their gifts.

Crazybabyclothing.com

Just want something plain in basic black? You’ll find find the solid black onesies and tees that you need to coordinate with baby’s other fashions. They also offer green or pink camo designs and the ever popular pirate skull choices. Their line of cool pacifiers offers something out of the ordinary, and are sure to draw comments from your baby’s adoring public.

Sandboxcouture.com

This site caters to the fashionista and celebrity watcher crowd, with a collection of designer baby clothing for the preschool set. See designs worn by children of the stars, like Madonna and Jennie Garth, featuring Sweet Potatoes, Kate Mack, Roxy Girls, Quicksilver, No Fear and Flowers by Zoe, among others.

Babyrockapparel.com

Finally, for those hardcore rockers who just can’t turn off the tunes now that baby has arrived , this site has baby-friendly versions of your favorite hard rock songs. Preview the music while you shop for your little rocker. Rock On!

Hipbabyclothes.net

The name of this site is actually Tot Rocket: Where cool babies can wear what they think! So you get the idea. The site offers funny tees and onesies, with sayings like, “I only cry when ugly people hold me,” “Breastfed baby - enjoy the show,” “My mom’s too lazy to make a bottle,” “Hung like a five year old,” “Topic of conversation,” and “Been there - broke that.” Some of the bibs with cute sayings: “Being Republican means never having to say you’re sorry,” “Bill Clinton for First Lady,” and “My whole life is being blogged.” They have baby clothing with rock star sayings, tattoo-like graphics, skulls, and sports and punk logos. All the logos are available on tees, onesies, and bibs, and they even have the ever-popular hoodies for babies. They have a great selection of items for only $10.99. Your baby will definitely get a second look sporting one of these products!

Pokkadots.com

This site has a great selection of really cute boutique-style baby clothing, not as hardcore as Tot Rocket’s. They carry sizes from 0-5t for girls, and from 0-8 for boys. They even have cool shoes, cozy pajamas, books, toys, furniture, decor, organic clothing, and items for mom and dad. Their baby clothes are scaled-down replicas of what trendy teens are wearing - all the latest styles in little kids’ sizes! I especially like the layered-look shirts, the pirate cap, the rain gear, the leggings, and the Paul James blazer. The clothes were adorable, and I found the prices to be very reasonable.

Retrobaby.com

For cute, tongue-in-cheek baby clothing, visit Retro Baby. They offer hoodies, tees, dresses, bibs, onesies, and accessories in infant and toddler sizes. Their logos include sayings like “I’m kind of a big deal,” “It’s okay, I’m with the band,” “For good luck, rub my tummy,” and my favorite, “Does this diaper make my butt look big?” The latest craze for teens is a tee displaying an old rock band’s picture and logo, and Retro Baby has them for little kids. They have Led Zeppelin, the Ramones, Jimmy Hendrix, Bob Marley, Iron Maiden, Guns ’n Roses, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I also loved the rubber duckies in the form of Mr. T, Gene Simmons of Kiss, Alice in Wonderland, and Buddha. Very cool. Many items were under $20.

Uncommonlycute.com

These baby clothing articles really are uncommonly cute, and they come in toddler sizes, too. Uncommonly Cute specializes in onesies and short- and long-sleeve tees. Some of their tee shirt sayings are “freshly baked,” “brand new,” “miso cute,” “king of the little people,” and “Elmo is my homeboy.” They even have shirts with peace signs. They also have baby clothing for twins that says things like “perfect pair.” I love the twin shirts that say “copy” on one and “paste” on the other! The onesies and short-sleeve tees are $22, and the long-sleeve tees are $24.
Do a little “window shopping” for some hip baby clothing. If you just buy department store clothes for your child, she’s going to look just like all the other little tykes. Dare to be different! Even if your baby can’t talk, he can still make a statement by sporting a trendy outfit.

“It takes a village to raise a child”. I didn’t understand the importance of that statement until I became a mom! Sure, I had read all the books I could get my hands on, asked “the experts” for advice, even listened graciously as my own mother in law doled out her list of the “do’s and don’ts” of parenting. But once I had a child of my own, I knew I needed the support of other moms who had walked the path before me. The “book knowledge” helped a little, but most often as a mother I’ve found the answers I needed from other, more experienced moms!

If you’re surrounded by a flock of practiced mothers, consider yourself lucky, many are not so fortunate. If you’re in the latter group, don’t worry! Meeting other moms is simple, and I’ll tell you how. Ready? Moms love to talk, especially to other moms. Moms especially love to talk about their little blessings. To break the ice, ask a mom about her cute little boy. You’ll be surprised how quickly you find yourself with a whole new group of beaming friends.

Now, there are several ways experienced mothers can be the greatest support to you as you travel the road of motherhood yourself:

Solutions to common problems

A mother who has already experienced what it’s like to handle a two year-old’s temper tantrum in public can offer first hand advice of how she handled the situation. She may have come up with creative parenting methods that are not listed in any parenting books. She has likely tried several different options before she found something that finally worked. So take advantage of her experience and you may prevent some of the pit falls she fell into when faced with the same challenge.

Insider tips for being a first-time mother

Where do I go to get the best deal on a baby stroller? What after school tutoring program is the most helpful? Is there a good pediatric dentist in my town? Is there a “kid friendly” restaurant where I could enjoy a good meal with my whole family? An experienced mother will likely know many of these answers. She can give you resources that you need yourself as a parent.

Social networking

It’s a great sense of security as a mom to know that if you have a question, or problem, there are many other moms in your neighborhood you can ask for help. In most communities there are many mothers’ groups, playgroups, parenting seminars, and other social networks just for moms! But many of them do not advertise, so if you ask other moms you know, you can find out about the many social networks that will help you get connected into the world of parenting.

The majority of advice you are going to get from your new network of mothers will most likely be excellent, but not all the information you get from other mothers may suit you, or your child. Remember, advice is only as good as the person giving it. Be discerning when implementing a new routine, product, or mother technique into you and your baby’s lives. Also remember that the moms that seem to have it 100% together probably don’t, so give yourself a break next time your feeling inadequate in the company of “super moms.”

As moms, it’s so easy at times to isolate ourselves. We get caught up in the daily tasks of caring for our children and often operate in “survival” mode as we face the many challenges that both parenting and life throw at us. It can be difficult to reach out for help, but it is more than worth the effort to seek out other mothers. After all, no mommy is an island.

Contributions from Marnie Schallert and Pam Thompson